I'm lost and stupid without you.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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