I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
