you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
