Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
