lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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