ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
