Who wears a wallet chain?!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
