Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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