sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
