I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
