I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
