I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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