Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize