Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
