worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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