If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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