shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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