Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
