just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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