I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
