I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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