They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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