you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
