Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
