Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my shit smells like andre
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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