Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
