hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
