There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
