My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
