Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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