I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
