Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
