No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
