dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
