whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
