he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
