sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
