I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
