Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
