All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize