OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
