Barsexuality is the new black.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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