So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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