It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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