Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
