evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
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