The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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