I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
