eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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