Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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