I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
