She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
