Who did Billy Mays play for?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
