Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
