I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
