I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
