i just identified you from a description of your pipe
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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