I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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