just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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