We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
