It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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