she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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