How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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