Im at strip club and am horny
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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